| My break from the online world... |
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Thursday 25 September, @ 6:07 pm
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YUI songs |
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DEAR DIARY/JOURNAL,
I've been wanting to post on here for quite a long time already, but due to some unfortunate events and lack of time, I haven't been able to for a while. Don't mind the "dear diary" thing because that's just how I always or usually start off my personal diary entries...
The last thing I posted on here was some random poem thing I wrote that I just had to get down on paper somewhere, so don't mind it too much. I was going to explain it later, but I got locked out of my account for trying too many passwords. D: I forgot my password...
Anyways, what I wanted to say last time was that since school has started now for a few weeks, I won't be going online as often anymore, and thus will be taking a break from the online world to concentrate on school. I need all the time I can right now to work harder and study harder because college apps are coming. I can't slack off anymore for the time being. So, sorry to all of those people that needed me online for something or misses me! Haha, I got like 5 missed calls in one day because of it, with people calling me and telling me to go online. I guess I should be happy that I'm actually getting some phone calls for once. It makes me feel kind of needed in a way. Well, since I won't be online much until probably the new year hits and college apps are over, I won't be able to answer everyone's messages on facebook etc.
With that said, let's talk about how my life is going right now. Besides the fact that school is a drag and tiring, I guess I'll have to say that it's more or less the usual business, day in and day out; the swinging motion of going back and forth between classes. Nothing of interest I would have to say. As summer is now long gone, well not really because it's still scorching hot over here, I'm finding it really hard to find any time to diet and exercise. D: Not a good thing... because I can't meet my goal. I can't believe I actually managed to lose 20lbs in a month, but now the weight is slowly coming back again. I'm getting tired easily, so it's really hard right now to do anything, but sleep.
Ok, something random now. Well, yesterday I had to take the bus home and it was super jam packed! I've never seen it this packed before!!! There was like 15 people standing up, holding onto the rails because all of the seats were taken. o.O And, there was not even any space for the people to stand, since there was so many people standing. That was a weird experience.
Sigh, I still need to get my driver's license that I planned to get ages ago. -__-'' I find it funny that everyone younger than me already has theirs, while I still don't have mine yet. Oh well, I'm too busy to worry about that right now, since there's many other more important things to worry about right now. I just don't have the time (and money) to study for that damn license test and undergo rigorous driving lessons at driving school. =/
Alright, I think that's good enough for today. I need to take a break... ^_^ Until next time, huh? I won't be back for a while though~
adieu~
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Friday 22 August, @ 6:05 am
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I'll be pending this post for now... since it'll probably be super long.
Just writing this to make sure I do come back here to post it... and not get lazy to. =]
Or maybe I'll just scan my journal entry cause it's like... too long to type out, I don't know. Haha, but that will reveal my super top secret journal I keep with weird pictures and lyrics I've written and drawn... huh?
Well, I guess I'll just say this...
After thinking for a long time about my future and what to do about it... since my mom keeps repeating over and over that we can't afford to pay for school, many memories began to surge back about a few things...
I'll never forget you, my awesome friend. All of our hopes, all of our dreams, all of our goals... I wish that one day you could come back here and we could strive to fulfill them together. I don't want to fight this and do this alone. We'll do our best and try to get into a good school just like we've always tried to do before. What will happen to all of our dreams and goals...? I got really shocked when you told me you aren't going to college, how your test scores won't matter anymore, how nothing would matter anymore... All these years, we've tried so hard... please come back~
I miss you lots <3
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| 私の人生。。。 について～ |
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Sunday 10 August, @ 7:20 am
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All of YUI's songs! |
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あっ～ しゃしぶり！
今、私の人生はままいいです。
It's been a long while since I've posted anything here, about 2 years. I actually thought about posting something for some time now, but never made the move to do so.
After looking at some of my old posts on here while stumbling upon them while on other people's LJ's, I finally decided to post again! (not including Joanna asking me about my LJ, which added to my want to post on here)
"I wish that I could make a difference in this world, stand out for once." (my march post)
This post has gotten quite long, huh? Oh well, I promised myself that I would write about this topic, so I finally did it.
Anyways, I have made all of my old posts public now, since no one ever comes here anymore. Hopefully I can update this more often from now on.
Hmm, my 14-15 year old self is trapped in this LJ. All of my feelings and rants are in here (well, not all of them) Haha, I still haven't changed my info on the side, it still says "10th grade" and "15." Ah, 2 years has actually passed by so fast!
アデュー～
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| life sucks... |
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Saturday 31 March, @ 8:29 pm
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星をめざして- NEWS |
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I wish I had better friends…It took me a long time to figure it out… I wish there could be someone that I could trust… I wish… I had someone I can tell all of these feelings to instead of keeping it all to myself… I hate myself for the fact that I can never make any good friends that I can keep… I hate myself for always being the one who tags along, the one that’s always hidden in the back… not saying anything. I thought this feeling had gone away, but I has come back to haunt me. I felt like I was part of the group for a while, laughing, joking around with the rest… but now I notice that I was just holding them back. I wish that I could make a difference in this world, stand out for once. It’s really hard to hold all of these feelings in, but I have no one to tell them to, no one to rely on when in need. Was this meant to be? Was I supposed to be left all the time? Was it meant for me to not have any friends that I could trust? This was probably meant to be… I never really had anyone I could trust, no one ever since I was little. I envy those people who have their “best friend” to tell all their troubles to, stay by their side supporting them. Me? I have no one. No one at all. Even my parents don’t support me. I was always the one that was picked on when I was little, for no reason at all. Well, maybe it was because I like one of the only Asian people at school and everyone else were rich white people. I thought it would be better here, but that’s not the case. I met some awesome people in third grade and they’re still my friends right now, but I can’t really trust them. I barely even talk to them now even though we see each other everyday at lunch and snack. I’m just never part of anything….always left out of everything. Was I just born into this world to be used by people? I never get any phone calls cause someone was worried about me or wanted to talk, every time the phone rings, its like “oh, w/e” cause its always someone calling to borrow something from me, ask for help on hw, or a club person calling, never someone calling to see if I’m alright or want to go somewhere. ….what kind of friend leaves their friend in a public place alone without a ride home and takes someone else home instead? Would driving a mile and wasting some gas for a friend kill, rather than leaving them with no absolute way home on the streets? I can’t believe this… (not typing all this junk because of this one thing) I guess none of this would matter anymore. In another two years, no one will even see each other anymore. We’ll all be on our separate path onto different colleges. I guess then, I can change my life. I doubt I’ll see any of my old friends at all, seeing that all of my friends are gonna go to community colleges and art school after graduation.. They have the grades to get into UC’s but I don’t know why they’re giving up. Oh well, if they choose to take that path, I can’t do anything to stop them. At least some of them could sell their artwork and make money off of that. I guess I’ll be the only one trying to make it into an UC. I’m gonna change my life and find myself someone I could trust. Well, hopefully. But for now, I’m just gonna tag along, unless some miracle happens and I find someone I could trust now… I doubt it though. I guess I’ve rambled enough and no one is going to read this anyways so it’s ok. I will be leaving to hide in the darkness and shadows now. The only thing I'm looking forward to right now is "Can't Buy my Love" coming out... I wanna buy the limited edition so badly... anyone wanna plan a trip to Little Tokyo with me? Wait who am I kidding? Noeone's gonna read this thing so
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Wednesday 13 December, @ 8:34 pm
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Harmony of December- KinKi Kids |
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Hello my fellow livejournalists! =]
Happy Hide-mas!!! ^_^ ahaha. yay~!
So yeah... it was weird, but fun at the same time XD omgsh, emi baked cookies =] which were realllyyyyy good. ahaha. yes. It was awesome.
and then, after at like 4:30ish I went to TC with peoples ^_^ GO CHS!! (even though I have friends on the Whitney soccer team) but yeah I think we won 7-0. Bleh, so yeah, I got to meet up with people that I haven't seen in like a year... o.O or even longer. We like bought food... well, I didn't cause I have no $ and no wallet >> but everyone else got food from tapioca express and Tofu bought subway. yep. It was fun =] talking about weird things and people choking on food XD haha.
Hmm, this weird lady came up to us and asked if we wanted to buy tickets for a hockey game... and then she left... yeah. So everyone looked at Tofu and thought that lady knew her. =D LMAO! it was like "Oh I thought you knew her cause she walked towards us and started talking to you... but she doesn't look like a student at CHS." haha. And then.... another weird lady came up to us again.... >> and wanted us to take a survey about religion, so we agreed... Haha, we made up weird names cause we didn't want to tell the lady our names XD ahaha. Well yeah, the survey was weird... and the questions were like "What would you do if you were in a relationship with God?" and stuff like that o_O Lmao, I think Tofu attracts too many weird people. XD ahaha. Yep. So after we went to Borders and went home. =] The only thing is that Janet couldn't come T-T so our group wasn't complete... the ol' Wittmann pals, me, Janet, Tiff wu, Victoria, Eva, and Phoebe. ^_^
And yes, I'm still pissed off cause my iPod and wallet got stolen -__-''
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